PARENT BAND NIGHT - A fun way to get band parents involved

Erik Johansen conducts Parent Band Night

There's no better way to truly understand another's concerns and fears than by walking a mile in their shoes. That's the kernel of wisdom behind the fun and innovative concept of Parent Band Night, an event that I participated in firsthand at the Thomas J. Lahey Elementary School in Greenlawn, NY. Here's the idea. Parents come in one evening with their child's instrument. They get a lesson on the basics of how to use that instrument and are given some simple parts to learn. Parents practice the parts together and then are sent home with the music and a directive to practice every day. The next week they all come back in, run through their parts and give a performance for their kids.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well, it was probably one of the most fun, crazy and clever school events I've participated in. It really opened many of the parents' eyes to what it takes to learn a musical instrument. The goals are both to get parents involved in the school music program and to encourage parents to make sure their kids practice and take their instruments seriously.

The first night started with an introduction from Tom Gellert, Director of Music and Art for the Harbofields Central School District. Then we were split off into instrument families and ushered to nearby classrooms. There top high school students aided in distributing parts and teaching us the basics of how to get a sound out of the instruments.

I'll admit it. I had an edge. As an elementary school student myself decades before, I had taken flute lessons in the fourth and fifth grade. So while I couldn't remember how to play a single note, I could at least position my lips in the right way so that a sound would come out. Many parents weren't so lucky. And while we were only taught the fingerings for four or five notes, it was a real challenge for most participants to play them clearly and in rhythm.

We practiced and practiced together and then were sent home with a mission: YOU MUST PRACTICE FOR AT LEAST 20 MINUTES EVERY DAY. After all, that was the hope that the band teacher, Erik Johansen, had for all of our kids. And, of course, since the tables were turned, it was our children's job to make sure we did it!

You can be sure that they kept their end of the bargain with relish! It was very comical to hear, "Mom, did you practice yet today?" after dinner each day. I did it faithfully and returned to Parent Band Night the following week ready for our big show.

We all went back to our original classrooms so that our student-teacher could run through our parts with us before the big show. That is when I experienced the biggest eye opener of the project. As we began to practice, I heard more and more comments like these: "That note is too hard, I'm just going to skip playing when that one comes up." "I still can't make a sound, it's too difficult." "My lips hurt." "My arms hurt." "My fingers hurt." Wow! What a bunch of whiners, I thought. If their kids had been the ones speaking those words, these same parents would have all rolled their eyes and told them to keep at it!

It really made me and all the other parents realize that yes, it is hard to learn a new instrument. But gentle encouragement to keep going is welcomed and needed by their kids. As Mr. Johansen put it, "My favorite part about parent band night is it gives the parents an appreciation of how difficult it is to play an instrument. In turn they understand the importance of daily practice and encourage their child to do so." Mr. Gellert added, "Parent band night makes parents aware that it's not easy to learn an instrument. Kids have to apply themselves. You know, when a child comes home with math or English homework, we are eager to help them. But when they come home and say they have to practice a new instrument, we send them to their rooms and have them shut the door. What kind of signal does that send? Parent Band Night is our hook to get parents involved and excited to be partners in their child's musical experience."

And the reward? The parent concert following was a blast! We certainly didn't play every note correctly, but we had heart. We had been told the week before to bring sunglasses, and during the last number, we stood up, put on our shades and swayed in unison to the final turnaround. The response? A standing ovation from our kids. WOW!

Do you have an innovative music program at your school you'd like to share? Please email me at tips@academicsuperstore.com.

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